Monthly Archives: April 2014

Also by William Ritter…

Like all good narcissists, I google myself often, just in case I’ve gotten up to anything interesting behind my back. Cruising the internets today, I found a whole stack of Books by William Ritter. In addition to Jackaby, which I remember writing quite vividly, there were several unexpected gems.

L’entĂȘtement Slovaque (French for Slavic Stubbornness.)

William Ritter Chevalier De Gustav Mahler (Collected writings by the knight of Gustav Mahler), whom I suspect might have been prejudiced against Slavs.

Know you Guinea Pigs. No doubt the daring prequel to Keep your Ferrets Close but your Guinea Pigs closer.

Irrigation and Drainage Proceedings of the National Conference Sponsored by the Irrigation and Drainage Division of the American Society of Ci… I looked this one up on its own, just to figure out what that last word might be (City? Civil? Cinder block?) but that’s it. It seems even the author could not make it through the title without getting bored and wandering off.

And finally,

Studies in Pacific Coast Entroproca. I looked up “Entroproca” online and got no results. NOTHING gets no results. For some context, I literally typed a random collection of letters (hjgjf) and got 2,890 pages in 0.4 seconds. I can only deduce that whatever Entroproca are, the government is covering it up HARD, and the fact that I can’t recall writing this book or any of the others can ONLY be explained by the CIA’s use of memory altering drugs and/or hypnosis. It all makes perfect sense now. J’accuse, CIA. I don’t yet know how the Slavs or Guinea Pigs are involved, but I’m on to you.

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